Hilbert Introduces New Major for Internet Journalism & List Creation – 14 of the MOST important rules

58411875April 1, 2015
FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE

Hilbert College has announced it will begin offering a new major in Internet Journalism. Some of the core courses include:

#COM 102 – Writing Headlines that subsequently have nothing to do with the content of the story

#COM 201 – The Epitome of Hyperbole – EVERYTHING you write should be the MOST important story of all time

#COM 245 – How to create useless, needless, and worthless lists that will waste an immeasurable amount of people’s time

#COM 401 – How to get the most clicks on social media – take some of the most obvious things in society and act like you are performing a public service by publishing them. For Example – The most important thing to do this weekend, that you probably never thought of … Click the link and get: Don’t turn your clocks back.

Now for 14 of the MOST important rules of Internet Journalism (there is really only 5, but 14 sounded better)

  1. Accuracy, Accuracy, Accuracy … is NOT important on the internet
  2. Objectivity has no place on the internet. Don’t let the facts get in the way of your opinion! Don’t worry about telling the Who, What, When, Why, and How
  3. Lists are your friend, make ‘em up. As many as you want, about whatever you want, really I’m not kidding. The 17 most thirst-quenching beverages (water is not one of them) – Go for it!
  4. You don’t really have to take into account things like: public trust, truthfulness, fairness, integrity, independence or accountability. It’s just the Internet.
  5. You should not worry yourself with minor details like spelling, punctuation, and grammar.

For those interested in this major, please email your questions to AFD2015@nosuchemail.edu.

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